Iwakuni White Snake Hash House Harriers

To contact the GM or get Hash information such as start locations or times please email:
zmancali@hotmail.com

When: January 1, 2012 ( New Years Day Hangover Hash)

Start: A parking lot across the street from a cemetery. (Near the
Iwakuni Sports Park)

Hares: Wake Me Up B4 you Go-Go, Sloppy Fourths

Pack: Stagefright, Horny Creeper, Barry An-twot-nette, Ploughed Mary,
Bunter, IBM, Beef Curtains, Tiny Two Stroke, Deep Throat Steam Boat,
Purple Vein, Gaijin Gong Wild, NN-Miyo

In the beginning, Go-Go was on the street selling tricks, or showing
everyone where start was. (Maybe both?) And as soon as she came back
to start, figuring the rest of the pack would be able to find start,
BC drove right by where she was standing. But after a quick
turnaround he made it there ok. The Hares had some Bloody Marias (V8
and Tequila) waiting for us to help anyone with a hangover. The
weather wasn’t as cold as it could be, so Tiny decided to wear his
kilt; as BC and Ploughed Mary were wearing shorts. BC blessed the
Hares and after they left, he also led the Hash aerobics with Father
Abraham. After the 12 & 3 minute wait, the pack was on their way. I
have included a link at the end that should show the eagle trail.
There was a nice little dirt slide where BC slid first, Horny Creepy
fell/slid, and TTS fell/slid all the way into Horny Creeper helping
her slide even more. Not sure if it was intentional or not sliding
into her. The trail was a good one. Shiggy, hills, bamboo, running
through farmers fields, all the classic makings of a good trail. At
one point, BC did what he does best (zen) and made his own trail.
TTS, Horny Creeper (and I think Ploughed Mary somewhere behind) were
the true trail runners. There was one point where BC, TTS, and Horny
Creeper were searching for trail at an intersection, and Horny Creeper
found trail and we did not hear her yell “ON-ON”. So that left us
searching for trail that much longer. She did say later on at her
gorilla down down that she did yell it. But it wasn’t until BC and
TTS went the way she went and saw her running way down the trail, did
we hear On-On. She did wave to us. Somewhere on trail BC got a nice
little gash (GASH?) on his leg that got infected and led to an
emergency amputation. He finished the rest of the trail hopping on
one leg. But I’m sure it didn’t hurt as much as 3 Dogs teeth did at
the Bonekai.
At finish there was the usual punishments. I can’t remember who was
first/last in (Stagefright and Ploughed Mary?), but BC nerd named
himself at start, and had blood on trail. Gaijin got called in for
something and forgot to take his beanie off so had to drink again.
And you would think someone would learn their lesson the first time.
But Gaijin got called in again later, and once again left his beanie
on. Not sure if he has learned his lesson or not. Keep a watch on
him at the next Hash please. DTSB rejoined us from the states where
she Hashed with the newly formed Black Beard H3 in Jacksonville, NC.
We had some visiting Hashers, Horny Creeper and Bunter. I think Horny
Creeper is from Samurai H3, and Bunter from Kobe. AND we have a new
edition to our wonderful pack. Welcome IBM ( I’ve Been Masturbating)
He has hashed in Okinawa (sucks) before and the man has brought him
from San Diego to Iwakuni. Ploughed Mary got a headband for having her
6th run with us. She likes her name and decided that she’ll keep it
rather than be renamed in the cold. But that didn’t stop Go-Go from
pouring the ice filled cup down her spandex pants. Which helped keep
the ice in. She was dancing around while the GM was taking his time
thanking her, talking about her, and picking out a song. I’m sure by
the time she got to the Flabongo it was nice and numb down below.
New paragraph here means something important right? Of course. I
need to discuss the passing of the Hashit. You mean TTS doesn’t have
it anymore? I couldn’t have it forever could I? I had a nomination
for the Hashit. I presented my case to the pack, named the accused,
and rested my case. The RA asked if there was any other nominations
for the Hashit. BC was nominated for not attending the Bonekai but
his case was quickly dismissed by the pack. Which left just Tiny Two
Stroke and Deep Throat Steam Boat. Would Tiny keep it or would it be
passed on? The crime she was accused of is something I can not speak
of as it was a horrendous crime. I shudder everytime I think about it
so I dare not mention it again. But after a close vote by yelling,
she is now the proud owner of the Hashit. Luckily for me, Bus Buster
wasn’t here as her loud and proud lungs would have surely overpowered
anyone else. So shocked was she about being awarded the Hashit, that
she forgot to pass out the patches she brought back from her trip to
North Carolina. Or it could’ve been the shock of all the mixings
inside the Hashit that she had to drink. By the way, I have a
protective order against her as her looks of death upon me have me
scared for my life. So she is not allowed to Hash within 50 feet of
me until I get a hug from her. I only used the Hashit once to unclog
a toilet and assured her I have washed it since then. But I am sure
she will carry on the Hashit tradition with pride as only a few
‘lucky’ Hashers can say they got to be part of this unique tradition.

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/137900980#.TwAdVNRFRpo.email

–
On-On
+++>
Tiny Two Stroke

The Happy New Year Hangover Hash

Hares: Beef Curtians and Hasslecock

Others: Middle School Masterbator, Grizzly Had’Ems, Oki-No-no, Madam Butterfly, Bus Buster, Stage Fright, Tingling in the Toyota, Love Me Tender, Weiner Bi a Hair, Right to Remain Topless, Slide aka Truck Fucker, Stove-Top Stuffer, Jessica Strappit, Deep Throat Steam Boat, Will Fuck For Food, Double-O Pig-Sticker, Daddy’s Alarm Cock, GASH, Legend of Bag Her Pants, Bunter, Plowed Mary, No-Name Kim, No-Name Yuko,

It was a brisk and crispy January Morning as a vast crowd of familiar mad men and women gathered once more in the name of family and beer.

The Hares approached, Beef Curtains was joined by virgin hare Hasslecock.

Before these two running lunatics could even be blessed we were underway. Runners, chauncers, one and all, we ventured forth towards Kintai Bridge in a vague sort of way. Once we crossed Route 2, Stage Fright looked to me and ventured a guess as to one of our scenic stops.

I, in turn, turned to Oki-No-No and asked if he wanted to follow Stage Fright and myself to the Snake Shrine near Nice Park.

Circumventing a large portion of the shiggy, the three of us discussed everything from politics and women to designer shoes. Okay, honestly I think I mentioned liking knee-high boots on a woman and that was as much as we touched on the whole designer shoe thing.

We came to the shrine and sure enough we found true trail. We stuck around, hoping to catch a hare, though this would not be. We continued our in depth discussion with nothing avoiding our deepest scrutiny.

Eventually, we realized the opportunity to catch a hare had long passed when Love Me Tender appeared. She was followed by Weiner Bi a Hair and Right to Remain Topless.

Heart-broken, we forged forth, seeking trail signs, eventually coming to the conclusion we had missed our vigilant hares by scant minutes.

Our trail led us through some nice and quiet neighborhoods where Japanese children were playing with grandparents. The pleasant sunshine and chilly winds that greeted our crossing of the Snake bridge eventually brought the like of Tingling in the Toyota and Love Me Tender into our growing trio.

We found ourselves working deeper into Kawashimo and eventually three corners. It was then the haze of wonderful beer began to wane and I realized we had missed a crossing some blocks back.

Utilizing the full breadth of my mental facilities, I deduced we were heading into the Bar district. The Hares would have us believe we were not going to end up somewhere warm was a valid clue to this end. The two stalwart Runners carrying a cooler up the stairs to the Underground Garage had nothing to do with it.

Rallying up at the Underground Bar, we were treated to a full on Turkey Dinner, where there was much merry making, and more importantly Beer.

We recognized a mile stone. Beef Curtains had hared for his hundredth run with IWSH3. We also took time to recognize Weiner Bi a Hair’s pajamas and award him the Hashit for his bravery in wearing such a ridiculous outfit.

We were even treated to a new song courtesy of yours truly.

The Anal Red Dress Run

WHEN: Saturday, 26 September 2010 1400(maybe?)

START: Daiwa (About half way up the mountain) Finish: Cursed Hash Shit Dam

HARES: Legend of Bag Her Pants, 3 Dogs Fucking, & I Rub It So Hard at Granny’s

PACK: To the best of my knowledge it was the unusual suspects, Rusty Giggle-Stick, 12 Year Old Giggle-Gagger, Middle School Masturbator, Seven Finger Fantasy, Pigs in Space, Do Me at the Dome, Wake me up B4U Go-Go, Jessica Strap It, Big Yak Pussy Attack, Love Me Tender, Slide, Stove-Top Stuffer, Madam Butterfly, Okii-No-No, G.A.S.H, Grizzly Had’Ems, Red White and Horny, Dime-Dime-Quarter-Dollar,  Deep Throat Steam Boat, Mommy’s Murple, Holy Hard-On, Don’t Tell Momma I ate the Babysitter, Beef Curtains, Bus Buster, Dick Taster, NN Kristen, NN Dawn, NN What’s His Face(NN Dawn’s Husband…David?), NN Guy Who I Never Met, NN Missey, NN Matt, NN Other Woman Who’s Name Escapes Me, NN Sonya and possibly One More NN Guy Who I failed to learn the name of.

TRASH: Thanks for waiting Wanks and Wenches, still trying to get a handle on things.

It was an oddly sunny day, despite the gloom and doom the following day. More so it stayed a sunny day all day well into the Down-Down. Despite the debatable beer at start it was a fun filled run full of shiggy, beer and men wearing women’s clothes.

A perfect day for the Iwakuni White Snakes Hash House Harriers ANAL Red Dress Run. We were treated to quite a number of virgins and even one Vergenz. The run got underway with the Eagles going downhill and the Chaunchers heading up hill. Just when the Chaunchers thought they would end up at the top of the mountain, we ended up in some shade for a nice little beer stop.

Oh how that beer was good. A little scouting was required to get underway again, however; in due time we were trekking back down the mountain and through a veritable labyrinth of spiders webs and treated to tales of fortune and glory by none other than NN Missy. Just ask her about the spider.

Somehow, we ended up crossing paths with the Eagles who were sweating. Not just Madam Butterfly and Okii-No-No, but the whole whack-job crew of lunatics rushing past, melting out of their fashionable red dresses.

At one point, your humble narrator even saw Beef Curtains and decided to rush ahead. Sadly, I did not fulfill my dream of Chaunching into the Down-Down ahead of the Always Running, Always Homophobic Beef Curtains, but there will be other runs.

One-by-one the rest of the Eagles trickled into the Down-Down, causing a considerable amount of concern on my part. After all, I’m a fairly committed Chauncher and seeing a number of FRBs following me into the circle makes me wonder just how committed to the Chaunchers I really am. Before Beef Curtains and 3 Dogs decide to poach me from my comfort zone, I assure you I have many, many more Chaunches ahead of me.

There were a fair amount of scenic views all along the trail. Most of which did not come with nipples, yet were still enjoyable. Some of those spiders in certain lights were as pretty as any flower, though I was in no rush to pluck them, lest they pluck me in return.

We also held Erections for the new Mismanagement, where as I was erected as your new Scribe.

For the GM we have been blessed with Middle School Masturbator.

Our new RAs are none other than 3 Dogs Fucking(American) and Love Me Tender(Japanese)

The New Beer Meisters are  Okii-No-No and Don’t Tell Momma I Ate the Babysitter

Hash Cash is still Do Me at the Dome

Snack Meister are now Korean Keg-Stand and Stove Top Stuffer

Wired Sex is Red White and Horny

Hare Razor is Beef Curtains

The Song Meister is Deep Throat Steam Boat

Scribe is Grizzly Had’Ems

Haberdasher -Red White and Horny

Following the erections, we got good and socially lubricated for welcoming virgins and Vergenz. We also had many double digits in successive order double digits 22, 44, 88 and 101. Then we moved on to the 3 major milestones Big Yak Pussy Attack got tied on for her 25th head band,  and 3 Dogs hit a double 300th head band and was recognized for his 100th hare which he had hit at the pick up pub crawl… As I GM pointed out you can do the math… $500 of free hash runs….

3 Dogs Fucking being the arbitrator of tradition could no longer carry the Hash Shit fortunately there were 2 nominations to receive it: Me for having a fit about my bike key at the last hash that was found in the exact chair I had been sitting in and Oki No No who took it upon himself to change his given hash name to Iya Iya by having it sewn on his happy coat.  By unanimous decision Oki No No will now carry the hash shit until he purchases a case of nice beer for the hash or some other unfortunate soul earns it

If that wasn’t enough excitement we had the naming of NN Missy, NN Sonia and NN Kristen. Each have completed six runs and we welcomed them into the fold with the traditional non-invasive questions and after many, many minutes of intense deliberation I would like to welcum all our new Harriettes

NN Sonya will forever known as Guaca-Cocka-Mole (learn how to spell, or just go to Taco Bell).

NN Missey will forever known as Daddy’s Alarm Cock.

NN Kristen will forever known as Bitanic

Unfortunately your Scribe had to call it a night for the evening, if only to go home and sob uncontrollably at what a great family he has been adopted into. That and he had to be up at four in the morning to lead a bunch of amateurs up a mountain without beer. Bastards.

So I could not make the On-On-On, but I have it on good authority there was plenty of drinking.

Until next time my lovely Wanks, Wenches and BC,

On-On +++>
Grizzly Had’Ems

Run 415 Saturday July 10, 2010 14:00 HST 

“Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave”

Cum one, cum all, cum on everybody, and join your hares, I Rub It So Hard @ Granny’s, Don’t Tell Mama I Ate the Babysitter, and Shoots Loads On Bambi on a fantastic voyage through the shiggilicious hills and dales of Northern Iwakuni[sic.]/Otake .  There will be shiggy, there will be scenic vistas, and most importantly there will be BEER!!! Besides, what else do you have to do on a Saturday afternoon other than sitting at home playing cards with your kids, bopping your bologna, or clicking your mouse to Facebook?                     FINISH: ????

START: Deep Throat Steam Boat Soars Park

HARES:  I Rub It So Hard at Granny’s, Shoots Loads On Bambi & Don’t Tell Momma I Ate the Babysitter 

NEEDS: $5 or ￥500,  whistle, NO new shoes, haberdashery of sorts and for named hashers (most current headband) AND most importantly a desire to consume copius amounts of beer

EXTRA INFO:  Hares have promised a challenging Eagle and an entertaining Turkey. Recommended items to bring:  a change of warm/dry clothes for down-downs, rubbers, sponges, umbrellas, bug spray, snake and spider repellent, gloves (if you want to keep your hands “Palmolive Soft”),  an oar, and a good sense of adventure…
On-On to the Beer Beotches,
+++>
Shoots Loads On Bambi

Run 410 Friday May 28, 2010 20:00 HST 

START:   Hide Away Bar- 4 Corners(Kawashimo 川下） BAR TOTAL/GOAL: ????

HARES: Wake Me Up Before You Go Go & Bus Buster

NEEDS:$5 or ￥500,  and about ￥5,000 for the bars as they don’t take US$ and most don’t accept credit cards

PACK:                            …. you don’t want to miss it

Run 409 Saturday May 22, 2010 14:00 HST 

START:                     FINISH: ????

HARES:  Stage Fright & Beef Curtains 

NEEDS: $6 or ￥600,  whistle, NO new shoes, haberdashery of sorts and for named hashers (most current headband) AND most importantly a desire to consume copius amounts of beer

PACK:                            …. you don’t want to miss it

Run 407 Friday April 30, 2010 20:00 HST 

START:  Marifu Full Moon Park               BAR TOTAL/GOAL: 5

HARES: Bus Buster, Rusty Giggle Stick, & (virgin hare) 12 Year Old Giggle Gagger

NEEDS $5 or ￥500,  and about ￥5,000 for the bars as they don’t take US$ and most don’t accept credit cards

PACK:                            …. you don’t want to miss it